Hello, my marvelous readers! Welcome to my blog, I hope you’re all having a wonderful day! Today I’ll be sharing with you something that can be really difficult to stop doing, but everyone should try to. This is going to be a long post, I’m going to be including some activities and if you want to do them with me, make sure you have the time. You’re welcome anytime to this post. So, don’t worry if you can’t do them at this exact moment. Let’s get started.
Unconsciously, we tend to compare ourselves with other people. I mean I’m writing about it, and I still sometimes compare myself with others even when I know I shouldn’t. Social media can be a pretty amazing tool, you meet people from all over the world, you share your thoughts, you can see memes and you can enjoy your favorite artists’ success. But not everything is as beautiful as a rainbow, social media is one of the main sources of self-comparison. Fake things are published daily and each day it becomes harder to identify which things are real and which are not. Even, there are lots of apps that promote low self-esteem. What do I mean with this? Well, those apps that are supposed to “help” you make your face thinner, your body look thinner, to have abs in seconds, among other things, are affecting the way we see ourselves in real life. And to all of this, the immediate question that pops in my head goes to. Is it worthy to compare myself to others when the things I see are not true at all? Well, sometimes we just get caught up on what we see, so the real question here is:
How Can I Stop Comparing Myself to Others?
The answer might be simple but hard to achieve, cause it relies on the things we need to work on. We need to take the time to think in ourselves, instead of thinking on others. We need to stop complaining and start doing. I’m going to share the things I’ve been working on for the past 6 months that have helped me get over that self-comparison habit. I’m still working on it, but I feel so much better each day.
The first one is self-love. This is one of the most powerful tools. It is really important that you give yourself the time to be thankful that you’re alive. You need to love yourself no matter what. I know sometimes it can get really difficult because of the way that stereotypes work. But you need to be stronger. If you allow me, I would love it if we do an exercise together. I want you to write 20 things you love about yourself. Take your time, breath in and breathe out. When you’re finished I want you to read those things out loud. Okay. After that, I need you to write a little paragraph saying how you felt after readings these things. Then I want you to fold that paper and save it in a place where you would be able to find it again. Why? Because I want you to do this exact same thing each week until you learn to love yourself.
You may be wondering, how can this help me? Well, when you take the time to repeat the things you love about yourself, you’ll actually start believing those things. I’ve been doing this for 6 months now, and I need to be honest. When I started doing this I had a lot of trouble with finding things I loved about myself. The first 2 months, I used to spent 30 to 50 minutes thinking about it and unfortunately, I ended up with nothing to write at all. Despite this, I never quit. Instead, I kept trying until it became easier and easier. This month I was able to finish in 10 minutes, progress is really being made and guys and I feel much better now.
Decluttering Social Media
The second thing is to declutter social media. There are millions of tweets, posts, youtube videos, etc, published every second. Some of them have a positive impact and a funny side, but others are just spreading hate. I’ve seen lots of accounts that are supposed to help others or inspire others. But when I start seeing their supposed support, it is all negative or really self-centered. I been decluttering social media for a while now. And I can assure you that after you delete all of those hate and negative accounts, you’ll feel fulfilled. You can modify your decluttering process and skip one if you don’t have an account on that social media platform.
Before you open the app I want you to think about this 3 thing related to the kind of people you have on facebook as friends.
- I know them
- I can count on them
- They share funny, inspiring, entertaining and positive posts
The first one is mostly recommended for your own safety, if you feel like something is odd, delete that person. I know sometimes we can make friends online, but always make sure that they are true people and not just a bot or a complete stranger. The second one, if someone made you feel less several times, just cut it off, delete that person. You don’t deserve that kind of hate. And the third one, if someone you have as a friend is always sharing negative posts or is always complaining, just delete it. Stop surrounding yourself with hate and negativity.
I know in this platform you can follow people from all around the world. Despite this, we can still make it a safe place and a positive platform. If you are scrolling through your feed and you find a tweet that is offensive or has negativity on it. Go to that person’s profile, check their last 5 tweets and if they’re all negative, then just unfollow. We don’t need that.
This can be one of the most difficult ones. Cause sometimes we like the aesthetic or content that some accounts share on their Instagrams. But there are some accounts that are constantly bragging about what they have or can do. So, we do not need someone who is making us feel less pretty, less fit, less healthy, less handsome, less successful, less smart. Just click that unfollow button and go to someone’s profile that actually inspires you. There are lots of accounts with pleasing feeds that share positive content or at least when they share their success they always thank their fans or the work they’ve been doing hardly but as a way of being proud of themselves without making others feel less.
Create a Vision Board
The reason why we compare ourselves to others relies on wanting what others have. But instead of doing those things we are just trying to achieve them by watching others do them. So, how are we going to achieve those things if we are not actually working for them? It’s impossible. For example, the thing I always compare myself with other girls is their bodies and their style. But what am I actually doing to achieve that? The answer is nothing. I’m just sitting there, wishing that by an act of magic I have those things.
So, instead of doing nothing. You can start creating a vision board, where you are going to find all those things that you want to achieve, but you’re going to start doing them. If you want to create an online vision board, I did a post a while ago explaining how to do a vision board in 2019. But if you want a physical one then it’s totally fine. Even though I made a vision board, sometimes I just don’t have the time to update it, cause college and all of that. That’s why I opted to do my vision board on Pinterest. It’s easier and it takes just a little bit of your free time to pin things. This way I’m always inspired to keep creating or finding new ideas to achieve my desired goals or share new content with you guys.
Okay, I know this sounds kinda rude. But I don’t mean it literally. I’m not saying you have to be like Dobby from Harry Potter and punish yourself for everything bad you do. I’m just saying that you need to find a way to stop comparing yourself to others and be free from this exhausting thought. For example, every time I compare myself I do the self pep talk, funny huh? and try to focus on other things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I don’t give up. I keep trying until this thing becomes a habit. Maybe change the word “punish” for “stop”. This one depends a lot on what you decide. But never hurt yourself, cause this could be counter-productive.
You are worth. You are lovable. You can reach your goals. You are the most important thing in your life. You are beautiful/handsome. You are amazing. You are incredibly smart. You are funny. You are capable of everything you want. You are special. You are a gem in this world. You are kind. You are a happy person. You just have to believe in yourself.
This is today’s post. I hope you guys like it. It took me a lot of time doing this post. When I finished it, somehow it wasn’t saving itself. So, everything got deleted and I had to start all over again. Anyways, I really hope this is helpful. If you want to use my worksheets, you can get them for free just by subscribing. You’ll get immediately a link to them and each month you’ll receive some freebies! You know my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are always open if you need anything or want to be inspired, I post a lot of positivity things. The comments on this blog are always open so if you feel like sharing your experience, you can totally do it. If you want to support my blog, you can buy me a coffee on Ko-Fi. Thank you guys a lot for reading and I hope to see you in my next post.